On family and hospitality

It is a little over a week that Adam and I arrived in South Africa, after what seemed like an interminable wait to join the others. To say that it has been a whirlwind of activity since then is an understatement. But to describe the warmth of the Osman family that awaited us here is virtually impossible. I can only say that I was somewhat prepared because of what I experience when I return to my extended family in Italy. Only that experience needs to be multiplied by 10 or so because of the size of this family. All I can say is that I feel like I'm living inside one giant hug.

It's been wonderful to get to know different cousins and their children, and I marvel at the similar strains that run through our families despite living so far apart. There is such a love of music and sports among other common interests. It makes clear the shared imprint from grandparents and great-grand-parents and provides a context for our family too. Our children have found easy friends in their cousins and the meshing has been effortless. It will be hard to leave.

Beyond the hospitality and warmth that has been showered on us, I have been struck by the range of people you find within families living under one roof. Each home you enter has a unique composition of family members, spanning two, three, and even four generations and can include uncles and aunts, grandparents, cousins. Everyone shares in the raising of the children, and though at times chaotic, children have someone to turn to all the time. Even more heart-warming than the extended families we see, are the adopted families that spring up. An abandoned baby is taken in by a family with grown children and raised as their own; someone in need is given a place in the family's home for days, months, or years; relatives in transition find homes and become a member of the family until they can move on. Connections are not broken with former spouses even if marriages have dissolved. I know that the generosity and kindness that lives within this family has been passed on from previous generations, and it is the same generosity that I saw in both my father and mother-in-law, but I also see that it is not unique in this country. It is inspiring.

Last night, we had a family reunion of the "Durban/Osman" side of the family. There was music, food, singing, laughter, remembrance of those no longer with us, and much hugging. While we may not have known the name of every one of the nearly 200 people that attended, we felt completely at home. Yusuf gave a short speech to thank his family. He said that there can be apprehension about "coming home". Time brings lots of changes and it is difficult to know whether what you find will match your memories and whether you will fit in the new reality. Those apprehensions were dispelled within minutes of landing in South Africa.

While the hugs ended hours ago, we all still feel very warm.

Lori